Don't be a Gonzo

When I was a kid I loved watching The Muppet Show. In many ways Beaker, Gonzo, Kermit, & Miss Piggy shaped my world-view.

I’ll confess that I can look at some of my SGLs through the lens of Muppet characters.  I know that sounds a little twisted. But just like personality profiling tools like Myers-Briggs, I think someone should come up with something based upon Muppet characters.  My MBTI pegs me as an ENFP but I’ve self-assessed my Muppet mix as “Kermit/Beaker/Fozzie”.

I’m not sure how much value or clarity that brings to the workplace, but I think it could offer hours of entertainment and conversation for a group of SGLs working together to make ministry happen every weekend.  If we’re honest, any one of us could sit down and peg the Statler and Waldorf’s of the team. (Remember… those were the old theater critics in the balcony.)

I’ve observed many SGLs in action and there are plenty of times when they emerge from the time spent with their few looking like Gonzo after another trumpet solo gone awry.  Panting, frustrated and ready to throw in the towel.

The truth is… no one wants to be a Gonzo.

As I have audience with SGLs, I’ve learned that these simple skills are the best ones I can impart that will help make their small group experience less like Animal in a drum solo and more like Kermit singing on a lily pad.

Be Interesting
Your few will listen with interest if you are interesting. Study the material ahead of time to think through how to make the lesson creative and interesting for your age group.

Smile, Laugh and Look
It’s good teaching technique to laugh and use voice inflections to retain interest among your few.  Make eye contact and smile when talking to your group.  Kids will listen when they sense that you care about them.

Tell Them What You Expect
It’s important to clearly tell your few what you expect from them. When they know what you expect, it makes more sense to them when you hold them accountable. Your few want to know where the boundaries lie… so set them.

Tell Them What They Can Expect
Kids love rewards. And what’s rewarded is repeated. Use a simple reward system so kids know what they can expect when they do what you expect. From hand stamps, to little stickers, to Starburst candies… there are a variety of simple ways you can motivate the kind of behavior you want from your few.

Four skills to exercise that equip you to lead your group and brings them back for more.  Don’t be a Gonzo.  Be you.

- See more at: http://leadsmall.org/elementary/dont-be-a-gonzo/#sthash.UeTkmYrz.dpuf

Discipline and Discipleship

Discipline and Discipleship 

“And we urge you, brothers, warn those who are idle, encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient with everyone” (1 Thessalonians 5:14).

 • According to this verse, what are some possible sources of misbehavior in a classroom? 

• Why is patience a necessary response for any form of misbehavior? 

Discipline and discipleship—two closely related words. Both come from the same Greek word for “to learn.” So why do we see discipline as negative and discipleship as positive?

Maybe it’s because, in our culture, discipline has more to do with control than with learning. 

As a teacher, you deal with misbehavior. And you have an important choice when misbehavior arises: to control your classroom or to use the misbehavior as an opportunity for learning. Two very different goals. Control equals a quiet classroom (and frustrated students). Learning leads to discipleship.

So if the goal’s discipleship, it’s not enough to control a child.

Instead, equip.

God’s placed you here to help your children grow—emotionally and spiritually. It’s your important job to give kids the tools they need to learn. Here’s how:

• Check your emotions first. When a child misbehaves, it’s natural to react emotionally. After all, the child is acting against you.

But don’t use your emotions to react—that just makes things worse. Respond. Use your own emotions as a clue to understand the child’s emotions. A child who makes you angry probably wants control. A child who hurts you may have felt hurt by you or another adult.

• Check their emotions. Ask direct questions. “How are you feeling right now?” “What made you feel that way?” Ask for honesty.

• Be honest yourself. Tell the child how you feel—and how his or her behavior is affecting the class. Be direct, but be warm.

• Help the child find a better behavior. Talk about behavior that would have been more productive. Lay out some options, and let the child choose. Help kids see that one of the options isn’t the behavior you’re correcting.

• Reinforce changes. When you see children improve their behavior, point it out. They’ll be glad you noticed.

Take this training deeper as you think over these questions:

• What does discipline mean to you?

• What’s been the goal behind your classroom management up until now: control or maturity? Is it time to upgrade your goal? 

• What are some potential challenges you’ll face as you use misbehaviors as an opportunity to foster maturity? 

God, I struggle with this type of discipline challenge… 

God, please give me patience when… 

May God bless you and give you eternal patience. Thank you for coaching your children to maturity! 

Write down the last few discipline challenges you’ve faced in the classroom. Write down who was involved and what you felt as it was unfolding. Next, write down why you think the child or children misbehaved. What emotions seemed to motivate the misbehaving? 

How can you begin to teach these children how to pursue these goals in a positive manner?

Be a T.O.P. Teacher

Be a T.O.P. Teacher

Is there a verse that’s guided your life? Write it here. If you can’t think of just one verse for your life, choose a favorite passage.

• Why has this been a key verse in your life?

• How important is having a spiritual goal for yourself?

• What do you expect of yourself as a teacher?

Why do you serve in children’s ministry?

Why not sing in the choir? Or work as a parking lot attendant? Or simply fill a spot in a pew?

What is it about your role that captivates you to the extent that you’ll prepare lessons, endure a child’s temper tantrum, and miss “big church” on a regular basis?

Some serve out of guilt…or an inability to say “no” when asked.

But others serve in children’s ministry because they’re engergized by the challenge to create an environment that’s engaging, encouraging, and enriching. They love helping students discover how to love, honor, and cherish Jesus.

No matter how you’re serving, serve so you’re a “T.O.P.” teacher.

• Be Tremendous by trying something new each week. Set the bar high for creativity—as you stretch you’ll keep students engaged and enthused!

By the way, tremendous doesn’t mean perfect! Don’t set the bar too high. Know your limitations.

• Be relational with Others by intentionally getting to know students. Get on their level and enjoy a healthy relationship with kids!

• Be Persistent in your efforts! Never settle for being mediocre or average! You can make the hour students are in your class a remarkable hour—an amazing, God-infused, empowering time!

In a world of big people who seldom notice children, you stand out as remarkable because you’re a T.O.P. teacher! 

Take it deeper as you think over these questions:

• Who do you ask to make sure you’re reaching your goals?

• How are you a different person this year compared with last year?

• What will be the feature that will improve in your life NEXT year?

Lord, I need ___________ to draw closer to you as a person and as a teacher.

Spend some time filling in the blank in the following sentence with as many nouns as you can think up:

Thank you for striving for the T.O.P. Set the bar for yourself high. Children deserve for you to be the very best you can be. 

Write down the name of each child in your classroom. Beside each name write one goal that you have for that child to accomplish this year. Make sure it’s related to what you have control over or what you can influence in your classroom. It could be to share toys or sing at least once—a lofty goal if you have a group of fifth-grade boys!

It’s the SMALL stuff that can make the BIGGEST impact!!!

There’s an old saying that says, “don’t sweat the small stuff!”

I understand this is trying to communicate that we shouldn’t worry about the small things that happen in our lives, because by doing so, we make them bigger than they really are.

So many volunteers show up each week with this same mindset, that they ‘aren’t going to sweat the small stuff.’

The small stuff—the details—takes more time, work and effort than just showing up and serving my hour and then going home.

But, I think success can be found in the small stuff.

What if a volunteer took the extra time to sit with that little boy and asked him about the big game he played in the day before?

What if a volunteer greeted each family that came to the door, making sure to call them by name?

What if a volunteer took some time to write birthday cards to all the kids who were having birthdays this month?

What if a volunteer showed up at her ballet recital with a small bouquet of flowers?

What if the volunteer made sure that each baby’s diaper was changed and clean before the parents arrived to pick them up?

What if the volunteer showed up a little early to make sure everything was set before the first child showed up?

What if a volunteer went out of his way to help that mom get all of her children checked in, dropped off, and showed her the way to the service?

ALL of these things seem like very small things.  AND there are ministries that are doing a great job each week without doing any of these things.

But, imagine if small group leaders started making the small things BIG things.  Imagine the BIG impact on preschoolers and their families when those small things become regular things.

It’s the SMALL stuff that can make the BIGGEST impact!!!

It’s the clean room, the changed diaper, the card in the mail, the pat on the back after the game, and smile that is given that make a BIG impact in the life of a preschooler!

So, sweat the small stuff, because in reality, it’s the small stuff that’s BIG!!!

 

 

Stop! Drop!...and Think!

“The wisdom of the prudent is to give thought to their ways” (Proverbs 14:8a).

• Why do you think it’s wise to give thought to your lessons when they’re over?

• How does reflection impact your future teaching?

Most days after class, you probably don’t even want to clean up. You’d rather rush home and move on with your life. Or maybe you need to scurry out of the room to pick up your own kids. Or you’re in a hurry to get lunch out of the oven.

And that’s OK. But it’s important to take a few minutes—maybe while lunch is cooking or you’re getting ready for bed that night—to reflect. Think about your lesson. What went well? What could have gone much, much better?

Not taking the time for reflection will make you a stagnant teacher—and your lessons redundant. If you don’t evaluate your experiences, you end up reliving them again and again without ever growing or changing.

Ask yourself some questions:

• How did the class go?

• Do you feel positive or negative leaving your class? Why? 

• What do you think the kids really took away from the class?

• How do you feel the kids responded to the activities? What was their favorite? Least favorite?

• Did kids give you any glimpses into how they’re going to apply this lesson to their lives? If so, what were they? 

Once you’ve answered those questions, take it a step further. Consider the implications your answers to those questions have on your classes in the future.

If you feel kids loved the obstacle course game, how can you use that knowledge as you design games in the future?

If you don’t think kids understood the main point, how can you be sure they do in the future?

If you didn’t see kids applying the lesson to their lives, how can you use more life-application opportunities in your lessons?

Reflection matters. A few minutes of think time will make you a master teacher and change kids’ lives in new ways. So after class this week, stop, drop, and think about the experience you just had in your classroom! You’ll become a better teacher if you do.

Take this training deeper as you think over these questions:

• What’s the worst class you’ve ever taught? The best?

• Why do you feel that way about each of those classes? 

• How can you avoid the things that made the worst one the worst? How can you duplicate the things that made the best one the best?

I felt this way about my class last week…

God, please help me take the time this week to evaluate my class. Make me aware of the good and the bad in my class, and help me use that knowledge as I develop lessons in the future. Thank you. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Make a list of reflection questions to ponder after your next class.

5 Ways to Fight Entitlement in Your Kids

Like most parents, you feel this terrible tug.

On the one hand, you want to provide your child with every advantage. On the other hand, sometimes it feels like when you do that, you’re feeding an incredibly unhealthy characteristic in our culture.

For whatever reason, we’re living in the midst of an entitlement epidemic. Probably more than any other generation before us, our generation feels as though we have a right to things that used to be defined as wants, or even privileges.

Here’s how the cycle starts:

On the day your child is born, it’s easy to decide as a parent that you need to give your child every advantage.

So you compete. You made sure he had bright colors in his nursery and exactly the right kind of mobile to stimulate his brain, but now it’s an all out frenzy to ensure your preschooler can swim, skate, hit a ball, paint frame-able art, read, write and speak classical Greek before his fourth birthday.

And don’t worry, because by the time you’re done with the race to kindergarten, the culture has taken over feeding the frenzy. Your child has now seen enough advertisements and made enough friends to believe that her every desire not only can be met, but should be met. The boots that every other stylish kid is wearing are not a privilege, they are a right. Or so you’ve been told.

And then other inalienable rights emerge: the right to a phone for texting, iPod touches, Facebook and so much more.

Somewhere in the mix, you found yourself realizing that you are tempted to pay your kids for every “act of service” rendered in the house, from emptying the trash to picking up each sock.

And you realize something is desperately wrong. And you would be correct in that.

So, what do you do to fight entitlement in yourself and in your kids? Here are five suggestions:

1.  Be clear on wants and needs. I joke with my kids that we owe them shelter, food and clothes, and I would be happy to slip a pizza under the door to their cardboard house any time they wish (they are teenagers, don’t try this with your 5-year-old, but you get the point.) Take time to explain what is actually a need and what a want is. Culture will never explain it to them. You need to.

2.  Reclaim special occasions. There is nothing wrong with not buying wants for your kids in every day life. Save the special things for special occasions like birthdays, Christmas and the like. You don’t need to indulge for no reason. In fact, you probably shouldn’t.

3.   Set a budget and let them choose. With back to school shopping and seasonal purchases, we started setting a budget with our kids early and then let them choose how they would spend it. They become much more frugal shoppers when all of a sudden they realize that money is limited and they can get more if they shop around.

4.  Establish an allowance and expectations. An allowance is a great way for a child to learn responsibility. We’ve encouraged our kids to give 10 percent of every thing they earn, save 10 percent, and live off the rest (the formula gets more restrictive the closer they get to college). Explain what gets covered and not covered out of that allowance.

5.  Be clear about what you will never pay them for. There are some things that you do because you are a part of the family. You can decide where that lands in your home. Make a list of responsibilities that no one gets paid for that you do because you are part of a family. To help with this, why not ask your kids what a reasonable list looks like? Involving them will help them own the decision. Second, make sure you follow up. And hold them responsible for what you all agreed to do. Otherwise you will be tempted to pay for everything or just roll your eyes daily and do it yourself.

Approaches like these can help raise kids who see life as a series of privileges, who live gratefully, and realize their responsibility to others.

How is our entitlement culture impacting your family? And how have you learned to battle it?

Head Knowledge vs. Heart Change

 “But the goal of our instruction is love from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith” (1 Timothy 1:5, New American Standard Bible).

• What could happen in the lives of your students if those three objectives were built into their lives?

• How do you know if you’ve met these goals?

As kids leaders, we want to make sure our lessons aren’t just filling heads, but are changing hearts. You’re teaching for life transformation. So at the end of a lesson, how do you know your students’ lives have been transformed?

It’s not an easy question—but it’s an important one!

It’s tempting to look at head knowledge and evaluate what kids know. The first thing we teachers like to test is memorization. After all, if kids can memorize a Bible verse or concept, they’ve surely learned something—right?

Well, that depends.

If a child’s memorized a Bible verse to get a reward but hours later doesn’t remember the verse, then no, that’s not true learning.

If a child’s perfectly memorized the words of a Bible verse but can’t actually tell you what the verse means, then no, that’s not our goal either.

If a child’s memorized a verse about serving others, and then the child helps a friend pick up his or her toys, then yes, that’s true learning—that’s life transformation!

Our goal is for kids to be living examples of God’s Word—not just recordings of God’s Word!

Instead of evaluating whether or not kids know a Bible verse, gauge what it means to them. Instead of asking kids to recite the Ten Commandments, see if they can give an example of one of them.

When evaluating kids’ learning, try these ideas for looking at the heart, not the head.

• Have kids rewrite a memory verse in their own words. And when they recite it, accept the paraphrase as correct.

• Let kids create a visual.  Have kids act out, write about, or draw what the memory verse or Bible point looks like when it’s put to work in their lives.

• At the end of each lesson, have kids summarize in a single phrase what they learned. Have kids write the phrase on index cards or whisper it to you as they leave.

• Make a note each week of how you’ve seen a child grow. It may be a way a preschooler shared a toy he’s never shared before. Or you might see a fourth-grader start talking to her friends about Jesus more.

Sometimes gauges like these seem less concrete than Bible memorization and recitation, but these provide more than a peek into kids’ brains. They’re a glimpse into their hearts! And, ultimately, which is more important?

Take this training deeper as you think over these questions:

• What’s the difference between memorization and learning?

• How can you make sure kids understand what they’re learning? 

• Why is it so easy to focus on head knowledge rather than heart change?

What is it that I want kids to learn from this week’s lesson? How can they apply that to their lives?

God, I want to see life transformation in my students’ lives. I want them to learn how to live for you and through you. Help me find ways to catch a glimpse inside each child’s heart. Thank you. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Create a Heart Monitor for your kids. Get two paper plates. Use a pen to divide both plates into four pie slices. Label the four slices on one plate the following: (1) in one ear, out the other, (2) memorization only, (3) knows the basics, and (4) true understanding!

 Cut one slice out of the other plate. Use a brass fastener to attach the cut plate to the labeled plate so it covers all but one slice.

Decorate your Heart Monitor with…well, hearts! Use it to gauge your kids’ learning each week. Adjust your lessons to reach for true heart transformation.